The Artful Journey

Exploring my self and the world through art.


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List #3: Ideal Day and Jenniebellie’s new Journal Workshops

Yes, I’m late on this one.  Shit happened.  I mean, my whole being is being transformed, and from one day or even one moment to the next, I’m letting go of old things I used to love and inviting in new things I haven’t loved in this lifetime, so this prompt, the ingredients of my ideal day, seemed like poor timing.  Until I remembered my Desire Map.  Then I started listing the feelings I wanted to experience on my ideal day, and the page came together easily.  I was feeling a lot of resistance to doing art again (sigh) but then I turned the page after List #2 and I’d scraped red paint on the spread while doing some Fearless Painting (images coming soon) and it seemed all ready for me.  So I thought, “Well, I can just write a list on this.  In sky blue poster paint.”  And it went from there, adding embellishments, outlining every little thing, adding my three top symbols of star, heart, and spiral, and ending with this:

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One thing this taught me is that pre-prepped pages, even just a little prepping, can make a big difference between doing art and just not feeling like making that first mark.

I also spent the whole day yesterday exploring Jennibellie’s wonderful new FREE art journal community, Journal Workshops!  I watched every video in her free class, Inspiration Station, and it really gave me a lot of insight and ideas and yes, inspiration, for how to move my practice forward.  Thank you Jenniebellie, I honestly believe you are THE most inspirational art journaling teacher out there.


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List #2 Art Journal Spread

List #2 is How would I describe myself to a penpal?  A very cool prompt, especially since I have a great new penpal I’m just getting to know, and I would like to discover more along the way, and because I’m working on being more authentic in sharing my whole WEIRD and WONDERFUL self.  This drawing was done in Pentel Energel, then painted with watercolors, then embellished with brush pen, stick on jewels, glitter glue (in her pupils…so dreamy), poster paint pen, Pitt Artist pen, stickers (from my penpal!) and metallic gelly roll pens.

I’m comin’ out!

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Why I Was MIA, and 30 Days of Lists, List #1

So yeah, about that whole 29 Faces thing.  I didn’t finish it.  Why?  Well, I got pulled completely offline in every way by Spirit from Feb. 21  – Feb 28, and that included my Internet for a few days.  This was big.  And now that I’ve been put back online, I’m a different person.  That’s the gist of it.

And I’m starting a new daily challenge for this month, as I mentioned before.  I’m doing the 30 Days of Lists, and List 1 came out yesterday.  I have never done this before, and my plan was to do an art journal page each day using the list.  But when the day came, I had SO much resistance to doing an art journal page.  And I realized, I was setting myself to overcome two different obstacles in this challenge, rather than one.  The first challenge, the list, is enough.  I don’t need the second challenge of doing daily art on top of that.

So then I couldn’t decide how to list, and I struggled for a couple of hours, changing my mind over and over and even having a slight panic attack.  It was ridiculous, or it seemed so, but I knew something BIG was trying to come through for me.  And it was Shan, my partner, who suggested I do my list different each day, and just follow my whims, letting my brain churn up idea after idea without it being because the first one wasn’t good enough.

This was huge for me.

I realized I would NEVER have allowed myself to do that without outside validation.  That I had a HARSH, even rather insane critic inside that wants things done A CERTAIN WAY, and that nothing I ever do is good enough for him.  Yes, it’s a he.  And my brain is extremely prolific when it comes to ideas.  And the way my critic uses that is to give them to me just when I’ve started something, because no, this idea would be even better…but then wait, if you did this too…oh and you should have done that instead because it would be so cool…oh wow what if we did that, too and this instead and…

And I become paralyzed, unable to just move forward with one idea, and it pisses me off and makes me dread doing creative work.  It’s creative death.

Yes, that is my crazy.  And it’s not just in art, but the way it shows up is mirrored exactly, and I KNOW that this work I’m doing with art is HUGE work that is healing this very detrimental issue so that maybe I can finally be happy.

With that in mind, I decided to use the original list I scribbled into a notebook, taking as much pressure off this issue as humanly possible.  So here it is, with the final item added before posting, thanks to Shan.

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The little arrow is thanks to her, too, another sticker from another package of poop bags.  She brought it to me before she took Bruce for his morning walk.  🙂


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29 Faces: Feb 19 Art Journal Page

She started with a simple pencil drawing, then I added watercolor pencil, then pen, stamping, and poster paint marker.  The strip of colors on the side is from junk mail, and the moth is from a magazine.  The message is what Spirit is talking to me about right now.

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She seems unfinished but finished, somehow.  She is what she is.

29 Faces is over at the end of February, and I’ve just registered for the 30 Days of Lists challenge which starts March 1st.  I plan to do those in my art journal as well.  I’d love to do some kind of daily creative practice challenge each month to keep me doing things and sharing them, so I’m always on the lookout for the next one.  These practices are showing me that there is more inside me than I think, even when I feel like I’m in a creative ebb, and because it’s journaling, it gives me an opportunity to connect with my intuition on a daily basis, whether it’s easy or not, if only for ten or fifteen minutes of slapping together a page.  I’m learning that it all contributes toward my learning, development, and self-awareness.


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29 Faces: Feb 18 Art Journal Spread

She started at my partner’s suggestion that I draw a face with my eyes closed.  I did that, in light blue Playcolor, then I opened my eyes and refined the original drawing just to help define what was what and give her a body of sorts, and fill out her hair.  Then I journaled a bit and doodled a bit.  My artistic mojo is gone right now, so this was a great suggestion for freeing up my hand to just move.

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29 Faces: Feb 17 Art Journal Page

The theme comes from a reading I did with my new Creatrix Anything is Possible Activation Deck.  She is done with watercolor pencil, then watercolor paint, poster paint pen, marker, Pen Touch pen, and ballpoint pen.  I am feeling NO inspiration right now, so I’m surprised she’s not a complete hot mess.

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29 Faces: Feb 16 Art Journal Page

She’s done in water-soluble graphite, and I don’t particularly like the way she looks.

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But I think she looks the way she’s meant to look.  And there are some things I like about her and some I don’t.  If I kept working on her, I could refine her more and emphasize those things I like, and ‘fix’ the things I don’t, but she is perfect for doing her job, which is sharing her message.

I’m going through some very intense transitional, transformational death/rebirth/resurrection stuff right now, and I’m being Guided toward working a whole new way, allowing every artwork to be a message I channel through my hands from Spirit.  It’s not about whether the message ends up pretty, it’s about whether it was received clearly.  So I am working on doing things that I know won’t be as pretty, because that’s what is calling to be done, rather than what my mind believes would be most pleasing.

As to subject, I have been taking comfort in the visual of the in-process painting as a metaphor for my life right now.  I am the smudge that is eventually going to be the amazing, well-defined and beautiful focal point in the fantastic painting of my new life, and all around me the Artist is sketching out different possible surroundings, but nothing is set right now.  The Artist is, I suppose, my Higher Self, my Wholest Self, the Self that knows everything I’ve learned in all my lifetimes.  She knows more about how to get me from here to happiness.  And right now, she’s having to build pretty much a whole entire life from the ground up.  And she’s making it more and more clear to me every day that the best way I can be of help to her is to do this kind of art.  Get my messed-up head out of the game and bring the heart in to run the show.

I am the smudge in the unfinished painting of my new life.  I don’t have to have understandable definition or recognizable beauty right now, I just have to be patient and trust that the Artist knows what s/he’s doing.  And I didn’t want to do this face today, but I felt I needed to, and I’m really glad I did.


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29 Faces: Feb. 15 Art Journal Spread

I used Portfolio water-soluble oil pastels, then brush pen ink drawing over that.  I discovered that the ink can be smudged to create interesting shading effects which I’m digging.  I’m working very intuitively with these faces, inspired by Connie Hozvicka’s Total Alignment mini-course, like I mentioned before, and I was so not understanding why those colors wanted to be chosen.  I wasn’t liking this at all at first, but I kept listening and got the message, and it’s a profound one for me, plus I like the unique way she came out.  I’m quite amazed at the power of the Fearless Painting process, and it’s really so cool that Connie is giving it away for free in the Total Alignment course.  It’s really transforming my art in miraculous ways.  My 18 x 24 pad of mixed media paper just got here today, so I’m going to begin truly Fearless Painting big now and we’ll see where that goes!  I’m obviously painting as big as I can in my rather small journal, turning it on its side, and I can already feel a difference, so I’m excited.

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Total Alignment: Opening the Heart Center, 29 Faces Art Journal Spread

Today I started working with Connie H’s FREE Total Alignment Fearless Painting mini-course.  The first assignment is to open your heart center and let your heart guide your hands.  This is what was in my heart.  This is for Shannon.  Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Watercolor on mixed media journal with pigment pen lines and journaling, and the yellow is crayon resist with watercolor, then outlined.