Today I began my Fearless Painting practice. I did 2 of the 5 exercises in the absolutely wonderful, absolutely FREE Total Alignment Fearless Painting mini-course by Connie Holzvicka at Dirty Footprints Studios. This course is free and beautiful and nourishing and powerful and just so very awesome, and if you want to paint, you are gonna want to take this mini course. It has been so transformative for me that I am now considering her Sedona Retreat in May, although that seems like such a very short time away to create something kind of…major for me. But anyway…I don’t have to make any decisions now.
Fearless Painting as taught by Connie is all about getting your head out of the way so your heart can paint. It is not about making a pretty picture, and you don’t go in with ANY idea of what it will look like. You put a brush or knife (in my case) in your hand and allow your heart to move it. You paint on big but inexpensive surfaces to reduce inhibition, and you paint standing up in order to get maximum energy flow. The result is not for the wall, it’s more of a visual record of an inner process. I’m working in a Blick Mixed Media pad, 18 x 24, and I went to the easel with the intention of Opening the Heart Center, following a video in her course. The only direction for the painting is to hold this intention, and for this one, to decide where to put a heart shape to start, and then to just listen and move your brush as your heart directs.
This is my result:
The frame is faked but the painting is all mine. Honestly, I found myself crying while painting it. I was so shocked at what came out, because I felt so empty and had such low expectations of my first painting. I started with a brush, because that’s how Connie paints, but my hand LOVES the palette knife, and as soon as I did the opening heart shape, it demanded we move onto the fun stuff and grab a knife. I don’t think there is a mark I find more exciting than that left by a palette knife and sticky, heavy body paint. So that’s what I played with.
The second painting was done with the intention of creating inner Balance. And don’t ask me how it relates, because I don’t know. In Fearless Painting, you don’t have to like it or understand it, you just have to paint it. So I did. And it’s not that I don’t like it in general. I do. I think it’s cool. I just have no idea how it relates to the intention. But hey, not my business to know that I guess! The black is actually ink, making this a mixed media painting.
Painting like this is HARD. For me. Because I live in my head. And my head has allkindsa ideas about how things should be. And it wants to KNOW all about WHY we are doing this, that, and the other, and what does it MEEEEEAN? And Fearless Painting is about shutting all that away and just letting the heart play. And when the head asks, “What are we going to do with all these paintings on paper?” I just answer, “We’re going to keep painting them until it’s not fun anymore.”
My studio is currently whatever space I can take over in the bedroom of our small 2 bedroom apartment, and I’m currently working at a table easel at my art desk in the corner. I love to see other people’s home art spaces, so I’ll share mine. This is my set up before I started painting today:
In the process of doing the paintings, I had leftover paint on my knife or brush many times, and I smeared it into my journal and started doing all kinds of backgrounds. Then I used watersoluble graphite to draw a face over one of them.
The journaling says, “Be available to LISTEN” and she had a mouth, but it was my idea, whereas the eyes were more intuitively guided. And sure enough, that mouth was allkindsawrong no matter what I did, and my hand finally dragged the brush across it and just smudged it right out, and I knew the page was done. I’m trying not to be offended by Spirit gagging me like that. 😉 I have realized/decided that my highest intention with my art is to be available to listen, and to allow Spirit to speak to me through my art, so the message is pretty clear to me. Shut up and paint what the heart wants to paint. I’m gonna work on that.