She’s done in water-soluble graphite, and I don’t particularly like the way she looks.
But I think she looks the way she’s meant to look. And there are some things I like about her and some I don’t. If I kept working on her, I could refine her more and emphasize those things I like, and ‘fix’ the things I don’t, but she is perfect for doing her job, which is sharing her message.
I’m going through some very intense transitional, transformational death/rebirth/resurrection stuff right now, and I’m being Guided toward working a whole new way, allowing every artwork to be a message I channel through my hands from Spirit. It’s not about whether the message ends up pretty, it’s about whether it was received clearly. So I am working on doing things that I know won’t be as pretty, because that’s what is calling to be done, rather than what my mind believes would be most pleasing.
As to subject, I have been taking comfort in the visual of the in-process painting as a metaphor for my life right now. I am the smudge that is eventually going to be the amazing, well-defined and beautiful focal point in the fantastic painting of my new life, and all around me the Artist is sketching out different possible surroundings, but nothing is set right now. The Artist is, I suppose, my Higher Self, my Wholest Self, the Self that knows everything I’ve learned in all my lifetimes. She knows more about how to get me from here to happiness. And right now, she’s having to build pretty much a whole entire life from the ground up. And she’s making it more and more clear to me every day that the best way I can be of help to her is to do this kind of art. Get my messed-up head out of the game and bring the heart in to run the show.
I am the smudge in the unfinished painting of my new life. I don’t have to have understandable definition or recognizable beauty right now, I just have to be patient and trust that the Artist knows what s/he’s doing. And I didn’t want to do this face today, but I felt I needed to, and I’m really glad I did.